Queer Capacity to Love

A Unique Capacity to Love

Throughout Hyperion’s podcasts, he often refers to how MWLM (men who love men) have a “unique capacity to love” and that it is through this unique capacity that we connect to the spiritual and tribal current of the ancestors. He adds that it is actually this unique capacity that is what empowers us as liminal people and grants access to the gifts of shamanism, magic and prophecy, energy healing and deathwalking that we use in the Unnamed Path. But what does this mean exactly and how do we access this capacity?

To approach this for myself, I looked at what unites us as gay and queer men. Beyond the individual differences we each have through our upbringings, our cultural and ethnic backgrounds, what are the aspects that I can recognize in a brother who also identifies as a MWLM? Obviously there is the fact that we are romantically and erotically attracted towards other men as partners, but how does this present itself? Think back to when you first discovered your attraction to men. What brought this awareness about in you? How did your body tell you?

I know for me I can float back to before puberty. I can’t say for certain it was a sexual impulse, but I remember looking at the comic books I had as a kid and there was one of a Tarzan-like hero, buff and wearing a fur-loin cloth. I’d just stare at his muscled form and feel a sense of longing. Desire would build in me. I’d feel a rush of excitement but it wasn’t concentrated as a sexual charge in my groin at that point. It was a diffused and more central yearning that I can identify as residing in my core, through my chest and belly. It was like being hungry for a food I had never tasted yet. Other TV characters would bring this up in me as well and so did some classmates. I hadn’t at that point in life identified it as my sexual orientation… it was just a natural impulse and. . . it was a secret. Like many others growing up, I knew to express this feeling was something that wouldn’t be approved.

As I got older, this feeling progressed and did express itself sexually. My inner fantasies and how I fuelled them were filled with male imagery. I also had that moment that is pivotal for all MWLM, that moment when we admit to ourselves that this is who we are attracted to and therefore claim our sexual identity followed by the eventual coming out to others.

So think back to these defining moments in your own life. Think back to your first inkling of knowing you were attracted to men. How did you know that? What told you? What did it feel like and where in your body did you experience that feeling? Breathe into this feeling now. Call it into your entire body. Now think of this feeling as the resonance, or that homo-erotic current that Hyperion also discusses. That MWLM are not attuned as much to the aspect of polarity, but rather that of resonance. See this feeling like a frequency, like a tuning fork that has been struck and is vibrating at its own harmonic. See if you can feel this vibration connected also through your body so you can call it into you as a physical sensation, an entire felt-sense experience. This is what we connect to and embody as our unique capacity to love.

And through this unique capacity to love, there are also corresponding shared experiences that become tribal. Our discovery of self and attraction, often alone, often in an environment that doesn’t celebrate it. This sense of isolation and fear of rejection is one of our tribal wounds. The dark night of the soul where many of us struggle in claiming our identity is another. But in tribal wounds, there are also tribal strengths and gifts. The empowerment of claiming one’s self authentically, the liberation of overcoming limiting beliefs and structures. The realization that beyond sexual orientation, MWLM also bring forth a social orientation – a different way of expressing what it means to be embodied as masculine in the world. These also, are our resonances.

So when Hyperion says that when raising the Great Crossroads we are to access this unique capacity to connect to the ancestors through the veil of space and time – this is what is referred to. Call into your being the homo-erotic resonance as a MWLM, feel it in your body and know there are shared defining experiences that unite us despite other differences across culture and time. This is what it means to be part of the tribe of MWLM and in the ancestral current.